Tell your children you love them.
Make sure your children know that it is okay to
love the other parent.
Be willing to talk about your children's
feelings or encourage them to talk with a teacher, counselor or
Answer your children's questions honestly while
avoiding unnecessary details about your relationship with your
When you make a mistake or lose your temper,
admit it and tell your children that you can and will do better
Don't argue in front of your children.
Don't pump your children for information about
the other parent or use your children to carry messages back and
Don't speak negatively about your former spouse
in front of your children or discourage their communication with
the other parent.
Reassure your children that they are not to
blame for the divorce.
Include your former spouse in your children's
school activities and special events.
Reassure your children that they are loved by
both parents and they always will be taken care of.
Be consistent and on time when picking up your
children for visitation. Make every effort not to cancel plans. If
your plans must change, always give your children and your former
spouse as much notice as possible.
Don't put your children in the middle of your
problems or ask them to take sides.
Don't make promises that you can't keep.
Don't use your children as confidents. Let your
children be children.
Don't ask your children with whom they want to
live. That issue is for you and your spouse to solve; it is too
much of a burden for children.
Be responsible and prompt with child support
payments and don't discuss child support issues with your
Establish a home in which your children feel
comfortable and secure.
Develop a workable and cooperative parenting
plan that gives your children access to both of you.
Give your children permission to have a loving,
satisfying relationship with the other parent.
Make every effort to agree with your former
spouse about discipline. This will help your children feel more
Don't compare a child to your former spouse.
Remember, your child is an individual. You may like or dislike
certain qualities about your former spouse that you see in your
child but, such comparisons can be harmful and painful for